Out of sight, out of my mind

The shedding process continues. Finding much to dump; much to my amazement of what probably we never needed. Also finding some treasures in the midst of the mess, but that is more infuriating, because it means I or someone like me, but probably I, will have to go through all the boxes in order to lessen the guilt for missing anything else.

But what is the value of time?

Or of 36 years of stuff?

Or more than that, since we also have things from our childhoods. I let go of my stuffed animal from when I was a child. I have no recollection of ever “playing with it”; it was basically a lovey that was unlovable by anyone except me. It was really sad-looking for as long as I remember, but since I would never let it be seen by anyone (really; it was pretty scary), I unceremoniously dumped it in the trash.

Apparently, it was a she; for she wore a dress. Things were more clear in those days. It was identified as a dog named “Sugar”.  Sugar was a Cocker Spaniel, I would venture to say. (I would also add she was an alter kaker Cocker.) I held onto the dress, giving it a wash in the gentle cycle. That I will bring with me, even if it is somewhat tattered.

There is a risk having things in brown boxes, or even blue ones, or stuck in closets. One never knows what’s inside. That being said, we do have many clear boxes of ISHI’s papers, waiting for scanning. I know what’s in them, so I know not to approach too quickly.

Isn’t transparency what we seek? I thought it was. My eyes hurt from all this stuff, not knowing what I will find, fearing I’m missing something but wishing I would rather be finished already. FOMO of life, not of the lift.

Yesterday, I had an eye doctor appointment. She asked me if it was for something specific or just to catch up. I told her that perhaps it was for something because my eyes have been hurting from lack of sleep (due to worry, more than anything); or perhaps from allergies (for sure), or maybe because I do need a change in prescription. Yup, I do! I am doing that thing of getting better eye sight now that I am getting older. Better vision of the far? Funny how I’m now reading the article “The Wisdom of the Aging Brain“…

The sorting continues…

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